Tuesday, November 25, 2008

It's been 2 years...

Two years ago yesterday, I lost my dad. I lost the first man I ever loved. I lost someone who's always been quiet but made a huge impression on my life. I'm fine. I wish he was here with us, with my mom. I wish he could see his grandkids grow up. I wish he knew that both Sean and Kira can recognize him on a picture. They know who "grand-papa" is. But I'm fine. I wish he didn't have to live the last few years of his life battling that horrible disease that is cancer. I wish he hadn't smoked a single cigarette in his life. I wish he had been strong enough to hold Kira in his arms before he passed away instead of just kissing her on the head. But I'm fine. I only have good memories of my dad. When I think of him, I smile. I love him still very much. There are a lot of things that I wish were different. But I've learned to accept them as impossible and move on. The important thing is that he's my dad... And I love him deeply.

Je t'aime papa!

9 comments:

Fleur-de-Lys said...

HUGE hug, dear...

Ça n'a pas dû être une journée facile pour toi aujourd'hui, même si tu dis que tu es "fine"...

Sois sûre, Claude, que ton papa est là quelque part près de vous et qu'il les voit grandir, tes cocos. Et qu'il doit être bien fier de toi, bella...

C'est étrange, je revenais de Centrale cet après-midi et j'ai failli me rendre chez toi à l'improviste. Je me suis ravisée en me disant que j'aurais au moins dû ma'annoncer mais je me rend compte que j'aurais dû suivre mon instinct et aller te porter un peu de réconfort...

barb said...

I"m sorry for your loss, Claude. My father, father-in-law, and dear uncle are all dealing with cancer in some form these days, as well as a close friend. Cancer sucks.

Big hugs to you on this anniversary.

Lorrie said...

I just wanted to offer you some {{hugs}}

Nathalie (famille1999) said...

I'm sorry Claude. Those are hard anniversaries to go through, no matter how long it has been.

Sending you lots of hugs and friendly vibes. Take care.

judi said...

((((hugs)))

I lost my mom 3 years ago today and I still miss her terribly everyday.

richard said...

Merci, Claude.

R.

whiterabbit75 said...

you've summed up many of the feelings that I'm just starting to feel now. Isn't it funny how after we have children of our own, we mourn more for them and the relationships we wish they could have had the chance to have. I know it is painful, but it is a strangely beautiful pain, because at it's heart is the love you will always have for your dad.

Big hugs, and a shared tear...

kimosabescraps said...

so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 4 years ago and Thanksgiving was her favorite holiday... YOu never truly "get over" death... just move on differently..
Peace and prayers during the day !
Kim

Sylvain Campeau said...

Merci ma soeur,

Déjà deux ans et je ne sait pas pour toi mais il me semble ne pas avoir oublié sa voix.

Il est sûrement très fier de ces petits enfants comme il l'était jusqu'à la toute fin de sa vie parmis nous.

Je ne remercierai jamais assez dieu de nous avoir donner la chance de lui dire au revoir.

Je suis sûr que où qu'il soit il doit bien s'entendre avec le père de mon mari qui nous à quitté il y a près d'un an.

Il nous manquent beaucoup.

Sylvain xox